Getting Into a Groove

As I mentioned before, I have been traveling for work for the past three weeks.  I am suffering for it.  I long for a routine!  I go a little nutty, when I return from travel.  I sometimes have trouble finding my equilibrium or groove, so to speak.  Now with the Christmas/New Year's holidays in full-swing, I am afraid my "new normal" will take a few more weeks.

In the meantime, I am picking back up on my rituals.  I bought flowers again.  Loving the holiday selections....

How cool are the stick like branches on the left?  Not sure what they are, but knew they would be great next to my bathroom sink.  On my desk, I put some evergreen, berries, a hydrangea, and added a punch of white.  I took the rest of the white flowers and put them in my bedroom.  They are nice and clean looking. 

Now, I must admit that I purposely got these flowers, because they should last me over one week.  I will be away for a few days for X-mas and my father's birthday and wanted flowers that would last 10-14 days.

So, now back to routines.....The flowers and grocery shopping helped ground me a little. 

I've been consistently working out, but had to put the weight lifting with a trainer on the back-burner because of my travel schedule.  Every day I have been home this month, I have taught Spinning.  I couldn't handle another appointment (trainer).  It was too much to commit to.  I had to let it go, temporarily.

So, the cardio is in check, but the hard and toned upper body muscles are now soft.  I'm working out with a trainer on Friday!!!  I know it will ground me, even a little more. 

Now, the diet is BAD!!  Three weeks of catered meals eating out, just kills me.  I have little self-control in social situations and in catered buffet lines.  I love to try everything that I am offered.  No matter how much cardio I have done, it can't make up for the calories I have consumed.  I admit that it is hard to stop the negative self talk.  I know that I will make better decisions, once I am back in my routine, but it is hard for me to be patient and not beat myself up.  My clothes are a little tighter right now, and I hate myself for it.  But, I try to stop the inner dialogue and remind myself that this is temporary.

I must remind myself that the great thing is that I get to start over each day.  Every day I am trying to make better food choices---not graze on all the holiday treats at work all day, not over indulge at holiday parties, etc.  I try to remind myself of the little victories throughout the day and not focus on the few handfuls of chocolate covered popcorn I ate at the office.  (At least I didn't make the effort to go purchase it, right?  It was just sitting out where I couldn't resist!)

I know I need to work on not being so hard on myself, but it is hard.  Every day that I am home, I feel more like myself. 

We all try to keep balance in our lives.  Some times we cannot balance and some thing has to give.  I strive to give myself permission to live in the moment, even if it means I gain a few lbs., lose sleep, spend a little too much money, etc.  I have a feeling I will always struggle with this, but every day I have the gift of starting anew and trying again.